Healing Wounds of the Past

It’s the time of year when someone commemorates its birthday with his/ her family. But what is really a birthday celebration? Is it about foods? Shared by family and friends, gift wrapped and serenade for the celebrant? Is this birthday celebration all about?

For many people, birthdays may not be an occasion to get excited about. They may not have foods to share with; money to spend for things to be wrapped or even receiving greeting cards from loved ones who were way for various reasons.

She stands behinds the photocopying machine, waiting for her work to be done, only to beat the deadline of her academic works with the students who are all anxious to have their lunch at the canteen. As she was standing with the crowd, undeterred by the noise circulating around, she had reminisced her high school life.

To most of her high school classmates and friend, she is just some ordinary serious “KJ” student. To her family she is a protective eldest sister, silent and respectful yet sometimes acts masculine, when circumstances pushes her to be. Because of her favorite past time which is to imagine his love of life to come home someday-his father. At the age of fourteen, she started to hate high school life, for its Family Day Celebration in the school. With this she started to envy her classmates as she saw them with a complete family. Her mother is a working mom or self employed mother for their father had left them while she was two years old and her youngest sister as five months old baby. Since then, the head of the family had not kept in touch with them.

Then the prom season came, where every high school students were dreaming of and she was so excited. Nevertheless her have shattered into pieces when their school principal had declared of no prom night to that year’s of batch due to financial crisis.

After four years in high school she graduated with awards and was given an opportunity to be one of the LDP (Leadership Development Program) Compassion International-Philippines’ Batch 14 scholars. Her prayer has been heard from heaven now, little by little. She was enrolled in a prestigious university the Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan as a Development Communication student. But still her past is dragging her away towards recovery. Hatred fades out as the longing for her father starts to creep in his young heart when she saw the debut party picture of her classmate with her dad and family. She started to draw possibilities in her mind, “Unsa kah noh kung mutunga si papa sa akong 18^th birthday? Dawaton o masuko ba mi niya kay iya ming gibiyaan og kalit?” she still can’t move on of her past, where her father attempts to give her away to Muslim couples who can’t have a child in exchange to money. His anger towards his wife leads him to do such wicked thing to his own daughter.

Presently, she lives with her co-scholars in a pad which is paid by the scholarship program they are in. She’s already 17 years old. As her 18^th birthday is fast approaching, she started to prayed and begged God to grant her birthday wish- to see, kiss, hug, dance with her biological father during her debut and treasure that only moment for a lifetime.

The moment she wrote this feature story of her life, tears are rolling down from her cheeks… not because of grief, loneliness nor hatred to someone else but tears of joy and with a brave heart to share to others that though she were left abandon by her biological father, she still have a Father up there, who loves her unconditionally, who mend her broken heart and dreams whole again and who will never her family behind.

She’s not just writing today for the glorification of herself but to the one who sustained her family all through these years. This is more than just a course requirement but a testimony of God’s greatness and goodness.

Over centuries and lifetime birthdays has meant different things for different people. But for the one named Irish Mae it is about giving thanks to her Father and Maker in everything she had gone through.

To forgive others as the Lord forgives my shortcomings, helps me to move on and enjoy life in line to God’s plan and will, leaving everything under His control…trusting Him with all my heart, is one of my life’s lesson learned as the healing process continues.

Reminder: Be reminded!

Does you grade define you? Are you in school for learning or only earning a degree? Are you a real Atenista?

This has been my questions to my friends. Having been a student of Xavier University (Ateneo de Cagayan), it become part of my daily routine to drop by and buy something in our canteen, in front the College of Agriculture building. The only place in the university thats always thickly settled.

Being a second year student who loves to stay and eat in the canteen, a crew caught my attention. While students are having fun, chatting with their friends and enjoying their meals. Rushing to leave the venue as the school bell rings, leaves their trashes around with their utensils after eating then a canteen crew cleanse it organize the chairs they neglect to arrange.

But most often, disappointment would always hound me every time I see these Ateneans as they claim to themselves yet doesn’t even care to the person who will next use the area.

It was really a blessing that the Central Student Government (CSG) had taken an initiative to post a reminder to the students upon leaving the place where they have eaten to clean and organize for the next users comfy.

 I was then reminded of my First Year Formation Program (FFP) Class last year. Since I learned the Ignatian principle of “Magis” and “Cura Personalis” it helps me to understand how should an Atenean be. TO aim for excellence in everything you do; care for the other persons who walked along with you my journey as a student and a Filipino Youth. Not just to think of myself but also to the welfare of others.

As I certainly had a great time reminiscing the past and relating it to the present, upon observing the life of a canteen crew, I noticed their sweat rolling  down from their forehead, to its back, as they wipe the messy table, carrying in their hand the tray full of plates, gasses, spoons, forks and many more utensils. Then on the other hand was gripping on a soft drinks bottles neck. What a heroic deed. Indeed everyone is a hero in their own little way. They are less appreciated, recognized and complimented for their status in life. They are working for them to earn money and pay their debts and other household expenses and necessities.

Every wipe of a messy table, every tray full of utensils and leftovers to lift, bottles to carry and sometimes clamor, complains to gain from the students and staff, - builds their attitude of patience, heart of servant hood and the most neglected part, leadership skills. I as a Youth leader in our church compliment them, for they are the one of the best example of a servant leader- humble, patient, pays back a smile to others though their heart is frowning due to tired body and peoples complains and demands.

As an Atenean we need to be reminded that we are leaders that should care for the others welfare and strive for excellence in everything we do.

Let’s put into action all we learned, apply it into our life and do everything not for men but to the One who created us wonderfully. Our grades would not totally define us, nor do our degrees acquire, for what it profits for a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his own soul.

In school we learn, aim for excellence and earn a degree. Nevertheless in the long run our relationship to God and people define us. Dare you to be a real Atenista. Be one!